Hetalia Cracktastic
by brightT3ars
Summary: OMG A Hetalia CRACK STUPID THINGY! wOOOHHPPPESLNRNJSDLFA I THINK I M DRUNK! WOOOHOOO! LOL HAHAHAHAHA!
1. Chapter 1

Hetalia Cracktastic!

Ello again! This is me brightT3ars! A Hetalia fanfiction! I did this cause I was bored!

I don`t own: Hetalia

I own: this weird story

Warning: Weird stuff and swearing. O_o o_O

England was drunk, so he went to chibi`s America`s house.

"Marry me America!" England said,

Chibi America blushed, and looked down at his feet. England was wearing his drunk sexy waiter outfit.

"I`m sorry America but I can`t." Chibi America said,

"WHAT?! WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO YOURSELF?!" England screamed,

"What? Oh I mean, I`m sorry England but I can`t." America blushed embarrassed,

"But why England?" England said,

"What? Your talking to yourself England?!" Chibi America laughed,

"Duh! Of Course eye am, eyesballs!"England laughed, (Still drunk) "But why America?"

"Cause when I get older, I want to rape you." Chibi America said,

"Oh, okay. I`ll wait for you to fucking rape me ass ass assses as hard asses you assses can, America." England said with a stupid arse grin,

One minute later

"Okay I'm big now, let`s fuck."(Bigger) America said,

"Huh now?" England said like he was some gay dude,

-So den they had a sumo wrestle (S E X)

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Italy was making out with Romano, in a closest at Germany`s party (I know right? Prussia threw the party).

"Ahh~ Fratello!"Italy moaned,

"Ahh~Feli "Romano moaned,

DEN theeeee closest opened! "What the fuck are u two doing?!"Spain yelled,

"What do you think bastard I havin with my fratello, and Feli`s on top!" Romano replied,

"Then let us join you!" Germany said out of nowhere,

"Us too!" Prussia and Canada said,

"Oh, okay fine with us." Romano and Italy both said.

-So all 6 had grou -_-

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"ohohnhodfkgnjofiwsdbjhwcbadkjvwaghdegbewauijhbri" France said,

"OH FUCK I FICKING BROKE A FRENCH MAN!"Japan yelled,

"Do u really think I care? Aru." China asked,

"No." Japan replied,

"Yes!ARU!" China screamed, "LET`S FUCK HIM!"

"YESHHH!" Japan agreed,

So they fucked France all day long.

"Hey." Japan asked,

"What, aru?"China asked,

"Why is France on the bottom?" Japan asked/said,

"I don`t know…aru…" China replied,

"Well, back to fucking!" Japan said.

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Bonus:

You read, "What the fuck am I fucking reading?!" You screamed,

"Then why did you read it?" I asked,

"OmFucking god! Who are u and Why are u in my fucking house?!" You yell/ask,

"I`m a fucking god…and the creator of that story u read, brightT3ars!" I said like a GOD,

"Oh, yes! Please rape me!" You said very womanly,

"Oh yesh!" I said,

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Denmark was selling drugs to Norway, OF COURSE NORWAY TOOK THEM!

"AHH look a fucking, fucmixcm ansdkh po niuaosd s pony!" Norway said,

"Norway, are you okay?" Finland asked,

"Oh! Is dat a fair maiden? I c?" Norway said like he was a gay hipster,

"Huh, a fair maiden?" Finland asked,

"Yesh!"Norway said, then frenchie kissed Finland,

"Oh no my wife!" Sweden cried, (Also was sold drugs)

"Ur wife? NO MY WIFE!" Norway screamed,

Finland fainted, of the fucking smexyness of the 2 countries.

"WAR!" Sweden cried,

"FOR FUCKING SPARTA!" Norway cried a battle scream,

"The war is S E X!" Sweden Screamed,

"Me too! But u got to wear something smexy!" Denmark screamed,(Ate his own fucking drugs)

"sdknhfoias onqhidoi YEASHHH!" Norway said like a manly man,

-So they raped each other

"Just as planned!" Iceland evilly grinned.

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-End

Told you not to read it O_o o_O

-brightT3ars


	2. Chapter 2

Holy shizz guys…I decided to continue this thing. It may not be as funny as the 1st one though… O_O

Denmark ran over to Italy, "You wants the drugs?"

"Drugs?" Italy asked, "Hmmmm…"

Italy took too long to reply, so Denmark took his money and gave Italy the drugs. "Bye!~"

Then he ran away. Italy stood there, with the drugs in his hands. "…." He ate some. "OH MY GOSH! IT'S DELICIOUS!dfsghgkdhsgknsAKGnhjALOk;dksmvlas~~!"

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"Ha, f*ck you're eyebrows, England." America laughed,

England stuffed a scone down his throat, "Make fun of my eyebrows? EAT THIS!"

"I like balls!" Japan smiled happily, "RICE BALLS!"

"Oh…hahahahaha…ha." Germany chuckled, "At 1st I thought you meant…um…yea..."

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Italy gulped as he walked up to Germany; he was going to tell him. He was going to confess to Germany, his most secret, secret, of secrets! "G-Germany?" He said.

Germany turned around, he didn't even say anything. (He was alike, 'Bro, just tell me.' )

Italy gulped, as he scratched his head. "I-I…I think I'm…" Sweat rolled down his back, "Gay."

Germany gasped, he couldn't believe it. Italy was, Italy was….gay. "No.F* ….Me too!~"

They both put on pink scarfs and dyed their hair pink, "Fabulous~~"

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Sealand ran up to Romano, "Hey, how do Italians die?"

"B*tch, what kind of question is that?" Romano grumbled, "Italians DON'T die."

"They PASTA away~" Italy smiled,

"You bastardo." Italy and Romano smiled, punching Sealand into space.

"Ha, gayyyyyy!" Japan chuckled. (How the F*ck was that gay, Japan? )

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~Food Loving Contest~

"Hello; Seychelles, Prussia, and Iceland are the judges!" Narrator smiled, "Please welcome them!"

The three countries sat behind a table, with a microphone in front of them.

"Today we have a Food Loving Contest!" Seychelles grinned, "A contest about how much you love your food!"

"The winner gets a life supply of their food!" Prussia kesesesed,

"And the contests are; America, Germany, Italy, England, and um.." Iceland said, "Cana….um.."

"Canada!" Seychelles and Prussia said.

Canada hid behind the stage, "Those f*cking bastards."

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*Bonus*

"Hmmm, is there going to be another bonus?" You thought, as you read this fanfiction. You remembered the last time; brightT3ars was in your room. Mostly all she did was cover you in Nutella and then you guys talked about how lame the fanfiction was. Then after that you guys-

There was a knock on the door, "Hmm?" You got up from your bed/chair/?(etc.) and opened the door. It was…brightT3ars..! She smiled looking at you, "Hello, Reader-Chan."

You blushed, "Aw, it's the bishe."

"Dafuq?" brightT3ars sobbed, "What did you call me?"

"Oh, I'm sorry senpai." You blushed even harder, "I-I didn't mean to call you that."

"Anyway, Reader-Chan…" brightT3ars smiled, giving you flowers, "Do you love me Reader-Chan?"

At this moment your face was bright red (Even though it really isn't….you're probably thinking, what the f*ck brightT3ars? Why would you do this? I have a lover! It's Wi-Fi! Yeah, but….I was bored…)

You took too long to reply, so brightT3ars took your money and left the drugs.

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Unfortunately, this'll be it for now. If you have an CRACK ideas tell me, I'll credit you for the idea. :)

(Just so you know there'll always be a Bonus part. :3 ) ~brightT3ars


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